skip to content »

1200 guide to overcoming shyness in dating

1200 guide to overcoming shyness in dating-22

Preparing what to say for a job interview or a speech is normal.

That seriously passes for shyness advice — in SOME OF THE LARGEST WEBSITES IN THE WORLD. This type of advice should be given to the rude loudmouth everyone finds annoying.Or maybe to the greasy salesperson who wants to make more money by pretending to be polite.I wanted to update the system to make it even better.So it was with great reluctance that I began studying books and courses about how to overcome shyness again.Of course, the person who wrote this article is probably now writing one called “12 Ways To Tie Your Shoes Quicker” and didn’t have time to figure this out. Back when I had really bad shyness, I would barely speak up and people would always call me quiet.

If someone had told me back then that I should “talk less,” then I’d probably think they were crazy.

They may also experience negative feelings about themselves, and worry about how others view them.

This low self-esteem results in a tendency to withdraw from social interaction. It’s going to happen to your crush, as well—he’s imperfect, too! Release your perfectionism and dwell on the fact that you are, in fact, going to mess up, but that no one is going to care. Barry Schlenker, professor of psychology at the University of Florida, advises.

Seriously, these are actual things that people wrote and were paid for. If overcoming shyness was as simple as telling someone to “focus more on other people,” then nobody would be shy.

I pulled these 5 pieces of hilariously bad shyness advice from my internal research vault. You’ll find almost every shyness article online endlessly repeating and echoing this tip. The advice is simply not SPECIFIC enough to be helpful to the average shy person.

Here’s the truth: Shy people need tips for , not less. About 50 years ago, there was an explosion in popularity of books that taught “people skills.” The advice in these books is mostly common sense: Be a good listener, don’t criticize people, remember their name, smile more often, and so on.