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Both sets of parents talk to each other, and then when the setting is more relaxed, they go into another room, leaving the man and woman in the living room to speak among themselves.
In recent years, a number of shidduchim sites have appeared on the Internet.Also the age when shidduchim start may vary by community.In frum circles, especially among Hassidim, eighteen is the age when shidduchim start and shadchanim take notice.Eliezer traveled to his master's homeland to fulfill Abraham's wishes, arriving at a well.After a short prayer to God for guidance, describing how a virtuous woman might act toward a traveling stranger at the well, Rebekah appeared on the scene and did everything described in Eliezer's prayer.Those who support marriage by shidduch believe that it complies with traditional Judaism's outlook on Tzeniut, modest behaviour in relations between men and women, and prevents promiscuity.
It may also be helpful in small Jewish communities where meeting prospective marriage partners is limited, and this gives them access to a broader spectrum of potential candidates.
The Medieval Rabbi Nissim of Gerona (commonly called Ran) traces it back to the Aramaic word for "calm" (cf.
Targum to Judges ), and elaborates that the main purpose of the shidduch process is for young people to "settle down" into marriage.
The prospective partners either date each other or in stricter communities they go to a "bashow" or sit in.
A typical bashow scene is that the young man with his parents goes to see the young woman in her house to see if the prospective couple are compatible.
It's expected that the couple keep the shadchan up-to-date on how the shidduch is going at regular intervals.