Dating preparation for divorce
If you've been out of the dating pool for a long time, starting up again can be frightening.But you'll be pleased to know that things have gotten a lot easier since you were going to high school dances and college bars.
Some of these sites are specifically geared to the 50-plus crowd, and they are attracting more and more single, divorced and widowed people than ever before.Go see a counselor if you need to, but be ready to face dating with a smile and an upbeat attitude. "I don't expect instant success." Dating is usually a protracted search for the right person that is filled with plenty of ups and downs.Sure, some people meet "the one" right away, but most don't.Since most of us can't see ourselves objectively, it's a great idea to have a close friend take a good look at you and offer some advice. "I'm ready to have a good time." Most people in our age group are looking for someone with energy, optimism and warmth.If you are feeling unhappy, you won't be able to provide any of these.That doesn't mean you don't honor your 40-year marriage that ended with the death of your spouse, but it does mean that you won't be constantly comparing new women to your late wife or new men to the husband who left you for his secretary.
The grief of losing someone is genuine and legitimate, but if you are still grieving, you are in no shape to meet someone new. "I am not bitter about the past." When dating, most people want to avoid a person who comes with too much baggage.
You need give and take, and being the life of the party isn't required. "I'm in good shape, and I look my best." If you've been out of the dating circuit for a very long time, it's possible that you've gotten a bit too relaxed about how you present yourself.
You might need to go to the gym, get a new haircut, or shop for some better fitting clothes.
It's my job not only to teach them some new skills about dating, but to calm their fears.
I reassure them by saying that taking that first step is the hardest part.
Dating isn't always fun — it can even be heartbreaking if you are entranced by someone and it isn't mutual. But if you have reasonable list expectations — for example, you want to meet a good person who is fun to be with and who shares your values and goals — you'll have an easier time.