Dating someone out of your comfort zone
He made no secret of being in it for other benefits too. It bruised my ego to think he might have considered me damaged and pitiful. DJ called me that afternoon and I was surprised to find him normal and, I daresay, forthcoming.
We enjoyed a full year together and when work took me across the country, DJ and I broke up and decided to remain friends.“I feel a lot of the same ways you do.” We spent the next forty minutes making a plan to meet the following weekend.After that, I took the next five dates to decided if I liked him or not.Somewhere in the night—perhaps behind my shameless revelation that my savings were dwindling and I feared landing back in my mother’s house, or that I was equally afraid of being the community cat lady when I didn’t even like them all that much—DJ took a liking to me.My friend called me the next morning with the news.I was focusing so much energy on making ends meet that I welcomed his easy affection and company.
DJ never urged me to move more quickly than I felt comfortable with and it gave me the space I didn’t even know I needed with him as a person, a friend and eventual partner.
Depending which side of the dating scale you’re on, the thing to keep in mind here is that it’s all about balance.
Focus on what speaks not to your ego and agendas, but your deeper, most loving self.
If for nothing else, sparkly people can often be innocuous and charming.
They can arouse the sleeping parts of ourselves that long to come out to play.
The ones, I’ve since learned, with much shorter relationship shelf lives than the stable ones.