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This experience is best exemplified by my close friend who I will call Eric.Eric has been using a couple of online dating websites off and on for the past year, with very little success.
Anonymous Woman (AW): I can’t remember the exact year I signed up… Actually, now that I think about it, that was how most of the messages I got started.In hindsight, I suppose if I had stayed active with it for a little longer MAYBE I would have encountered a “nice” guy.I have to mention that I did get maybe a message or two from guys that seemed okay, but once I checked out their profiles, it didn’t seem like we had anything in common so I didn’t bother.You can’t watch as they smile, and that smile spreads up into their eyes and transforms their face into one of the most beautiful things you’ve ever seen – a thing that warms your heart and makes you realize you want to spend more time with the person. Unfortunately, the reality is nowhere near that fantasy.To get some insight into what women go through on these dating websites, I pulled aside one of my family members who I knew had spent some time on these sites looking for her future spouse.The two services used by these individuals were OKCupid and Match.com, two of the largest and most popular dating websites on the Internet.
What I learned from carrying out an interview of a female and the interview of a male trying to dig into this intriguing subject was that using the Internet for dating is equally painful for men and for women, but for very different reasons.
Personally, I think there is so much more to be gained from talking with someone face to face – you are able to read their body language and listen to intonation in their voice, which are much better indicators than online messages or profiles. You’re much more likely to get past the initial message if you can get a girl to first start talking to you based on interests.
RD: From your experience, do you think dating sites can be at all useful for girls? I know people who have had great successes with online dating! I have a strong preference toward meeting people in person FIRST, instead of online first. RD: How did you eventually end up meeting the guy you ended up marrying?
RD: How long have you been using online dating websites? Most importantly is that she likes doing similar things that I do. Maybe they don’t like my pictures, or maybe I’m not being as nice as I feel I am in my messages.
Secondly of course is that the profile gives me some feeling that there could be chemistry. Part of me thinks that they’re just so overwhelmed with messages from so many guys that they just pick the few that strike them as the “best” and just ignore the rest. It’s weird to me because if I didn’t normally have girls asking me out in real life, or showing that they are attracted to me, I’d probably start to develop a complex or something.
That’s one of the issues I see with online dating though.