How to get responses online dating
A one-sentence message probably isn’t saying enough, but you also don’t want to send a novel.
There are lots of reasons why someone may sign into OK Cupid, check their messages, and not message you back. Or, they might be checking their inbox quickly, and will respond later. But the quickest way to get yourself classified as a psycho is to message someone more than once without getting a reply. Repeat messaging says, “I am a creep with boundary issues.” And sure, there’s someone out there for everyone, but you will widen your dating pool by not being a creep with boundary issues.Even if you do have a creepy racial fetish, announcing it will do you zero favors (although if you do have a creepy racial fetish, maybe deal with that through pornography and therapy, and don’t bring real live human beings into it?) Does her profile say she’s a lesbian and you’re a straight guy with a weakness for Justin Bieber haircuts?So instead of stating the obvious (“you look like a small child and I enjoy sexing small children”), point to what it was that attracted you to their personality (or at least the fragment of their personality that they put on the internet).Oh and just to be clear: Commenting on how a woman could be your Nubian queen or your sweet Oriental flower is not substantive.We know you’re trying to be “random” or “funny” with your ridiculous message about getting married / having babies / getting divorced / giraffes / or whatever other inappropriate thing you are messaging to dozens of people at once. It also doesn’t trick anyone (other than the slowest people on the internet) into thinking you wrote that totally nonsensical message just for us.
Funny is good, but if you are not actually funny, don’t strain anything trying to be.
Not only do questions keep the conversation going, but they also indicate interest.
Potential partners want to know that you are curious to learn more about them and not just interested in extolling your own virtues and accomplishments.
Learn a little something about the person you’re messaging, and reference that in your communiqué.
“Hey gurl, luv ur pics” is not going to get a response.
I’ve been documenting OKCupid atrocities for a while now, and a lot of themes crop up in the terrible messages that daters send me for, um, critiquing.