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We talked about our eating disorders with a candor unavailable to us at the lunch table.When I messaged boys I liked, I learned to have conversations where there was no pressure to arrive at a right answer.
Recently, I have wondered what would happen if I were to run into this friend in person. Marla M12 was instant-messaging me a guide to phone sex: “Practice saying things like, ‘You make me so hot’ …the basics can be extraordinarily arousing when they’re said out of context or in a different situation.” For women like me who were teens and preteens in the late 1990s and early 2000s, that “different situation” was AIM (AOL Instant Messenger).Would I be bold enough to look him in the eyes and say: I like you? So, I’m including it as a money-making option on Work at Home Adventures. If you’re already spending your time texting or chatting in online message boards, you could be doing it and getting paid for it instead.It was in those unstructured conversations that I could be typing so fast my guard came down.
“It was pleasurable to meet new people and learn that you were ‘attractive’ somehow,” Katz recalls.
My friends and I played sexy on AIM because, in real life, we were bound to the rules of our parents, Catholicism, and the code that tells “smart kids” that sexual experimentation is for screw-ups.
We lied and pretended we got drunk, laughing at our crafty misspellings. Still, the risks of AIM were some of its greatest rewards, especially for teenage girls.
Chatting online, rather, the goal was just to banter.
I got to see that bandying ideas around for hours could be a path to intimacy.
A friend of mine reminded me of the way, at sleepovers, we used to go into chat rooms, pretend to be in our 20s, and try to get men to “cyber,” the AIM version of phone sex.