What happened to dating
Her take: “While out with friends, I met a guy who lived 100 miles away.
He must have been dating her right when he got quiet with me.” -Chrissy O., 29Expert take: Many guys are okay with dates and sex, but when it comes to weekends away or spending time with other couples, those that have a fear of intimacy can act weird. After a few dates with a guy, you feel like this could lead to something, when suddenly he falls off the face of the earth.Or it’s been months—he’s even uttered the word “girlfriend”—and out of nowhere he says he’s not ready for a relationship.After two months, I invited him on a preplanned trip with friends, but he declined.After the trip, his text messages became shorter and the phone calls stopped.“The more there’s courtship and the guy is pursuing a woman he’s interested in, the more powerful the reward is of actually being with that person is.
If a guy gets everything up front, it’s quite possible his interest and that reward mechanism aren’t going to kick into gear,” Kerner explains.
“Allison may have had a sense of intimacy that was never there in the first place, while he was probably dating other people,” he says.
Don’t assume someone is going to be committed unless you’ve talked about it.
Those who use phrases similar to “hoping to be friends first” are usually looking for fun rather than commitment, says Laurie Davis, founder and CEO of e Flirt Expert, and author of You can also weed out the casual sex seekers by looking at the context around your planned date: Is he willing to set up a date for a week or so later?
Meet for coffee or in a place where you can hear each other talk?
While this guy was extreme, try not to be so hard on others with selfies or one odd photo—they might have potential, she adds.